Hi, my name is Angela (had to change my name for privacy purposes), but I asked Elizabeth if she would post this for other people going through the Family Courts. Here is my story and how she helped me: I was married for 16 years. After I found out about another woman he was cheating on me with, enough was enough. I decided to get a divorce and he agreed. We had one child still in the home. I thought this would be simple, get attorneys and since we both agreed on the divorce, work out the details, we did have a lot of assets but we agreed to come to an agreement. I had stopped my career years ago by his request to take care of the kids and him, and he agreed that I should be supported in restarting my career.
Well my attorney convinced me to start digging up things because he may be hiding things such as assets. I mean she had a point how could I trust him if he cheated on me. She was able to prove and show me that I was entitled to at least an additional $300,000 than what I initial thought. So my attorney convinced me to fight to obtain all that was entitiled to me. I filed for divorce and a year went by with temporary motions, hearings, and demands for discovery, and I was now $35,000 in the hole with legal fees with my attorney. Technically it was my husband who was helping me pay those fees. Another year went by with hearings, motions, and financial freezes, which end up really hurting me. My legal fees now had ballooned to $67,000.
But by now my attorney was showing signs of fustration. She was not so patient and seemed to be irritated with me and my request to end all these hearings and just get a divorce. She even threatened that she would get off my case if I continued my inquiries and request. I became so stressed and fustrated. The previous monies I received was reduced to just the order of the court. My husband was not so nice and clearly his attorney advised him not to do anything to help me, or even be cordial. One day before going into our 3rd year in Family Court, my son broke down crying after spending time with his Dad and asked if we can stop fighting. He was tired of hearing about court and he just wanted me to be happy.
I realized in that moment, how my son viewed me. I decided to see if I can push this court case along and my attorney said no, it was not possible. We had a deposition coming up then mediation then possibly a trial. My attorney did not think we would agree on anything in mediation, and so she was preparing for trial. On my court travels, I had met another mother going through a similar situation, but she had lost temporary custody of her children. It wasn't that she did anything wrong, they just thought her husband could take better financial care of her kids. I was blown away at the decision of the Judge. So from time to time I would call her to check up on her. The last time we spoke she had been referred to an Ombudsman to assist her.
I called her and she was in different spirits. She told me her case was closing. The Ombudsman she was referred to gave her a reality check and assisted in completing a plan of action for her attorney, and plan of action for child custody. She said it was the best thing she could have possibly done and invested in. She said the Ombudsman provided resources and information of understanding the legal process and the role of all the legal actors. She showed her the difference between civil procedures and local court rules. She explained clearly mediation and what attorneys can do, and how to utilize an attorney. She said she helped me think and she realized she stopped her from making emotional decisions that would hurt her kids even more. She said it was a soft reality check, but a breath of fresh air. I asked her how much was the investment and she said for her it was $3500, but the services are tailored.
She gave me Elizabeth's, Ombudsman, number and I could not believe I did not know of her sooner. I would have saved $78,345.58 to be exact. She took the time to review and hear my concerns, provided resources and information of the legal process, and showed me options that were at my fingertips. I decided to prep myself for mediation and had Elizabeth assist me in preparation. I needed extensive support in prep and I used her financial advisor resource as a second opinion to prepare me for possible options to provide in the mediation. The cost for the whole service was only $2900. AND GUESS WHAT? We came to an agreement, my case was ended. I still had to pay for my attorney to draft the final order, but it ended. I did not get all that I wanted, but I obtained more than I needed and Elizabeth showed me that.
In not going to trial, I saved over $22,000 and my now ex-husband saved also. If I would have started out with an Ombudsman, we both would have been better emotionally and financially. I share this because this saved me and my family from further heartache. The first thing Elizabeth told me was, "I know this time is hard for you, but I hope our interaction helps with your overall healing and well-being." I broke down crying. She cared. You don't have to go through this process alone. You can talk with someone who is neutral and she can assist you and talk you off the edge of anger and fustration and give you resources of hope. I just thought I would share!
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