The Best Way to Handle Child Support

Child with arms stretche

Child Support does not have to go through Government

Child support can be managed without going through government systems. Many people do not realize that they have options that can benefit their child(ren) in the long run. Here are some ways and examples of how Child Support can be handled:

Direct Payments

• Parents can agree on a payment schedule and amount that works for both parties.

• Payments can be made directly from one parent to the other without involving the governments oversight and force.

• Payments can be set up in a variety of ways that include i.e. - a bank account that is designated for the child, direct transfer payments by systems of records like Zelle, more inclusive systems of record keeping and child(ren) record sharing apps.

Mediation Services

• Parents can use private mediation services to negotiate child support terms and child custody/parenting needs that is extremely cost-effective.

• Mediators can help facilitate discussions and reach a binding and enforceable (court-enforced) agreement without court intervention.

• Parents who struggle who are unable to co-parent but are able to parallel parent will lean greatly to this option.

Private Agreements

• Parents can create a written agreement outlining the terms of child support.

• These agreements can be notarized to provide legal recognition, although they may not be court-enforced.

Family Law Attorneys

• Hiring an attorney can help parents draft a child support agreement tailored to their needs. They should hire personal attorneys to negotiate in their best interest but can in the drafting of an agreement ask that a Family Law attorney act as a neutral.

• An attorney can also provide legal advice without involving the court system directly.

• Collaborative Attorneys are beneficial especially if cost is not an issue.

Informal Arrangements

• Some parents may choose to handle child support informally, relying on trust and communication.

• This could include sharing expenses for the child without a formal agreement.

• This can become difficult as the child gets older or if the relationship among parents changes.

Use of Trusts or Custodial Accounts

• Setting up a trust or custodial account can help manage funds for the child's support without direct government involvement.

• These accounts can be used for specific expenses like education or healthcare.

Mother and Baby at cafe

By utilizing these methods, parents can manage child support arrangements privately and avoid the complexities and intrusiveness of government systems. Government systems should be a last resort. It should technically only be used if a parent refuses to assist in any care of their child and/or it is unsafe for any communication with the other parent. Just know that many times government entities will force interaction regardless of safety concerns heightening conflict. If you are still considering child support through government systems, please consider the following:

1. Understand the Laws

Familiarize yourself with the child support laws in your state or country, as they can vary significantly. This includes understanding how support amounts are calculated and the legal obligations of both parents. Be aware of how this will affect parents currently, and in the future. Government (Family Courts) can take fees, impose incarceration, take licenses, force payment of attorneys, force use (child support) on both sides, and change custody or requirements without notice. Utilizing a Family Court Ombudsman is benefical in educating yourself and directing you to resources.

2. Document Everything

Keep detailed records of all child support payments made and received. This includes receipts, bank statements, and any agreements made regarding support especially if you are deciding to use government. They are known to take fees, and over-payments of child support. Be aware of your record if you are paying child support and be aware of claimed fees if you are receiving child support.

3. Be Prepared for Changes

Life circumstances can change. Be prepared to revisit and modify child support agreements if there are significant changes in income, employment, or the needs of the child. Family Courts are known to change at whim the requirements of child support. This also means always be prepared to continually go to court or be involved with government oversight of your personal finances for both parties.

4. Seek Legal Advice

If you encounter difficulties or disputes regarding child support, consider seeking legal advice from a family law attorney. A good practice is to have a family law attorney on retainer. They can provide guidance tailored to your situation.

5. Utilize Mediation

If communication breaks down, consider using a mediator to help resolve disputes amicably. Mediation can be a less adversarial way to come to an agreement and the agreement is binding. Private mediation is a great resource to change and modify any child support situation, arrears, or needed changes. There is a difference between court sponsored mediation and private mediation - know the difference.

6. Focus on the Child’s Needs

Always prioritize the needs of the child when discussing and managing child support. This includes not only financial support but also emotional and educational needs. Try to remove the personal ill feelings out the way and focus on what is right for your child(ren). No one else will do this for you, and if they attempt many times it will create more chaos or conflict for you down the road.

7. Stay Informed About Your Rights

Educate yourself about your rights and responsibilities regarding child support to ensure you are fully aware of the legal framework surrounding your situation. Do not be lazy about child support. Do not rely on a system that was never built to be equal or just. The system was created to divide and sell what was considered property, never forget.

8. Be Proactive

Address any issues or disputes regarding child support proactively. Do not ignore issues especially involving government. Delaying action can lead to more significant problems down the line. You cannot be lazy when utilizing government led and sponsored child support.

Let us assist you in educating you about Child Support options and information. Family Court Ombudsman is here to assist you!